Declaration of Independence 2.0

What happens when you change the wording of the original Declaration of Independence very slightly?

In particular, if we change “King of Great Britain” to “King of the United States of America, George W. Bush” does the document still make sense? Let’s see [note, anything you see in brackets is me adding an incident to support the claim].

“When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.

That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain King of the United States of America, George W. Bush is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let the Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good [Bush vetoes children’s health insurance bill].

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them [federal raids on state approved medical marijuana operations in California].

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only [Republicans intimidating voters to stay away from voting booths] .

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures [telecom immunity, commutation of Scooter Libby, continued approval of war spending bills and vetoes of timelines].

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness of his invasions on the rights of the people [Attorneys fired for not agreeing with Bush, the power to declare war lies in the Congress, not the executive branch].

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands [Bush expands immigration checks].

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance. [Patriot Act, warrantless wire-tapping, Department of Homeland Security]

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures [illegal wars].

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power [unconstitutional Guantanamo trials, majority of Americans are opposed to Iraq War].

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us [Department of Homeland Security]:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world [Cuban embargo]:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent [war spending for a war the public does not consent to, the economic stimulus checks which are simply an early refund (so you may owe taxes next year)]:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury [false accusations of terrorism lead to illegal detainment]:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences [27,000 people held in secret overseas prisons]:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments [the Dick Cheney branch]:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever [Bush believes he can sidestep wiretapping laws].

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us [Executive Order: Blocking Property of Certain Persons Who Threaten Stabilization Efforts in Iraq which criminalizes anti-war protests.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people [Bush has had a constant negative impact on the environment].

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation [private contractors outnumber U.S. troops in Iraq].

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British American brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British American Crown, and that all political connection between them and the Federal State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.”

Nearly every single reason for the original Declaration of Independence from the United Kingdom holds true today. There can be only one true patriotic move, declare independence from King George W. Bush and his henchman in the executive branch. Today, as we celebrate this country’s birth we must move forward and yet again renew the Tree of Liberty. The current federal government of these United States of America through its criminal negligence, corrupt conspiracy, and open disregard for the law has rendered itself null and void. The truly patriotic amongst us realize this government is now illegal and an enemy of the people and this country. We all must openly admit and declare that we are no longer part of this criminal, blood-thirsty, tyrannical American empire.

To conclude this post, I will borrow the words of one of our greatest fictional Presidents, the great President Thomas Whitmore from Independence Day. We truly live in a sad state when he is the most inspirational President of my lifetime. Though he spoke of fighting to prevent annihilation from aliens, his inspirational speech holds too true for our modern struggle:

We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!