The latest & juiciest rumors to hit the playground

• Timmy O’Keefe is apparently responsible for all the missing kickballs at the Roger Clapp School. Rumor has it he’s been selling them on ebay to earn enough money to buy a Xbox 360 Console. Shame on you Timmy, there’s better ways.
• Vicky Sullivan is rumored to be breaking up with John Williams due to him “kissing like a 4th grader”. But how will he improve without a girlfriend, Vicky? Prose of a Pol says give the guy another shot!
• Apparently, Billy’s dog did actually eat his homework. We say pics or it didn’t happen.
• Insiders close to the clique report that the Ashleys will no longer be friends. The long-lasting most powerful clique on campus is rumored to be ending due to, what else, a boy.
• A fight is planned for after school between heavyweight Ken “the biggest dude ever” Stinson and the small but quick Tom “the ninja” Vazquez. Odds began at 5 to 1 for Ken, but Tom’s statement that he’s not afraid to kick Ken in the family jewels has closed the line down to 2 to 1.

There you have it, all the news that’s not fit to print.

Oh, and this post is not a prank but Happy April Fool’s Day nonetheless.

Thanks to striatic for the excellent photo.

Note, all names used above are made up. Any resemblance to real name is mere coincidence.