The latest & juiciest rumors to hit the playground

• Timmy O’Keefe is apparently responsible for all the missing kickballs at the Roger Clapp School. Rumor has it he’s been selling them on ebay to earn enough money to buy a Xbox 360 Console. Shame on you Timmy, there’s better ways.
• Vicky Sullivan is rumored to be breaking up with John Williams due to him “kissing like a 4th grader”. But how will he improve without a girlfriend, Vicky? Prose of a Pol says give the guy another shot!
• Apparently, Billy’s dog did actually eat his homework. We say pics or it didn’t happen.
• Insiders close to the clique report that the Ashleys will no longer be friends. The long-lasting most powerful clique on campus is rumored to be ending due to, what else, a boy.
• A fight is planned for after school between heavyweight Ken “the biggest dude ever” Stinson and the small but quick Tom “the ninja” Vazquez. Odds began at 5 to 1 for Ken, but Tom’s statement that he’s not afraid to kick Ken in the family jewels has closed the line down to 2 to 1.

There you have it, all the news that’s not fit to print.

Oh, and this post is not a prank but Happy April Fool’s Day nonetheless.

Thanks to striatic for the excellent photo.

Note, all names used above are made up. Any resemblance to real name is mere coincidence.

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

That video literally forced tears of laughter to roll down my cheeks.

The Onion was really on point this year and especially down the stretch. Comedic genius.

Check out some of their other hilarious stories:

• Black Guy Asks Nation for Change
• Nation Finally Shitty Enough To Make Social Progress
• Bush: ‘Can I Stop Being President Now?’
• Black Man Given Nation’s Worst Job

It’s funny because it’s true.

When the poor need to be stomped on, don’t get your shoes dirty, call Super Bush!

When the middle class starts getting curious, don’t cut and run, call Super Bush!

When we need to demonize socialism for all but demand it for the super-rich, don’t bother calling, he’s already there because he is Super Bush!

Look in the sky, it’s an a-hole, NO, it’s a dictator, NO, it’s Super Bush!

H/T to A Dark Dog for the picture.

Courtesy of Art Siegel a.k.a. artolog.

Tip o the ol’ hit to Four20 via Pownce.

Enjoy the weekend everyone!

“Fresh” Fish…don’t let anyone say they didn’t warn them!

You can check out these pictures and others at my flickr page.

I had reservations about the The Simpsons Movie before going in but was excited nonetheless, the sheer amount of jokes and new territory the producers broke in the first act of the film makes it the best Simpsons content of the last five years, easily. The second act does drag a little bit but is still funny, and the pace picks up again in the third act of the film. I don’t want to spoil the movie for anyone, but I don’t understand the reviewers out there who claim this movie didn’t feel epic enough; Springfield is on the edge of annihilation, that’s not epic enough?

A movie hasn’t brought me this many laughs in a long time. It might not be the funniest movie ever, and it certainly isn’t the best Simpsons content ever, but it’s damn good. Any true Simpsons fan will love the references to classic episodes and the new ground explored in both jokes and animation style. The producers used just enough Computer Generated animation to appease the eyes while still maintaining the classic Simpsons style. A movie with 18 years of hype simply cannot satisfy everyone, but as a lifelong Simpsons fan, I was pleasantly surprised.

For a show that started drastically decreasing in quality over five years ago (peaking well before then) to release a movie this funny and capable of appeasing its massive hype is a sign there’s still life left in the Simpsons franchise. Hopefully, now that the writers can focus on the show again, the quality of the TV episodes will pick up too. Until then, I’ll be watching the Simpsons Movie several more times, as it’s simply that good and contains a bounty of jokes I missed over all the laughter.

Score: 4.75 [out of 5]

“I might look cute, but if you touch my ball I’ll kill you.”

“I wanna help!”

“Screw it, that’s hard work. Time to go back to looking cute.”

A cute girl who likes football? Could it really be…the perfect girl?

“I’ll lick you”

If you wanna see more pics of Misia, check out my Misia flickr set here or let me know by commenting below!

The posts were broken up by category so you’ll find my top 3 favorite posts, listed arbitrarily, from each category below. These posts were chosen based on personal preference and relative usefulness so don’t be discouraged if your site isn’t listed!

Blogging

• 3 Sure Fire Way to Advertise Your Blog on a Shoe String by Engtech

Good advice.

• 3 Ways to Track Your Comments by David

I always lose track of comments I made somewhere so these sites are very useful. I tried cocomment once but will have to give it another whirl or try the other two sites.

• Top 3 tips to pick up girls/boys using blogs by Mario

Be careful using this one!

Honorable Mention: Three Things That I’ve Yet To Achieve as a Blogger by Rhys

Business & Career

• 3 Great Alternatives to Paper by Using Web-based Solutions by Ryan

Too bad I work for a financial services firm, which does a lot of accounting so this isn’t very applicable. Accounting relies on paper.

• 3 Reason Why Entrepreneurs Succeed! by Ray

Great insight and very true.

• 3 Reasons Job Search Spam Should Scare You by Jacob

Useful information and advice for everyone, even if you’re not looking for a job right now.

Honorable Mention: Top 3 Reasons Why You Have to Work from Home by Alfa

Entertainment

• 3 movies that can change you by WebStuffScan

Though I disagreed with the top three (check out the comments on the post for my top three), the idea and writing is solid.

• Got Independence? 3 things you should do this July 4th by Joe

Reading the Declaration of Independence, good advice for any day.

• Three Free Willie Nelson Songs by Liz

Free + Willie Nelson = Awesome!

Honorable Mention: Three Great Anime Blogs and Maybe Anime? by Carlie

Health & Fitness

• 3 Things I Have Done To Save My Own Life by Eric

Good advice for diabetics, and a good read in general.

• Three reasons to try a marathon… by Shane

I’ve always wanted to run the Boston Marathon, hopefully this post will encourage me.

• 3 Reasons Running is Good for You Alexander

And this post will motivate me to get in shape for the marathon.

Honorable Mention: The Top Three Reasons Why I hate Diets by Joey

Make Money Online

This category only had 3 submissions, so to be fair to the other categories I’m only choosing one post.

• 3 Things no one told you about web monetizing by Pedro

As an economics geek, Pedro’s analysis of the opportunity costs of blogging was a very interesting read.

Technology

• Three Reasons You Should Hate the Prius by Michael

Interesting analysis of how the Prius is not the best thing since sliced bread, for some people.

• 3 simple ways to drive more traffics from Flickr by Kuanhoong

Wicked useful! Thanks Kuanhoong.

• 3 coolest PC Mods by Madhur

As someone who built my own PCs back in the day, this post was cool!

Honorable Mention: 3+3 free tools for moving your life and your stuff online by Tanya

Travel

• The three places in Japan I would love to visit by Jamaipanese

I’ve always wanted to visit Japan, seems like such a cool place.

• 3 Ways to Have a Luxurious Hawaii Vacation on the Cheap by Sheila

Honestly, I don’t have a huge desire to go to Hawaii, but if I do I can go on the cheap!

• Three reasons to Visit Cyprus by Rajaram

Great, now add Cyprus to list of places to visit…this list is too big!

Honorable Mention: 3 wonders of the world that designers should have voted for by Mirko

Web Development & Design

• 3 Ways to Improve the Comment Styles on Your Blog (With Examples) by Ryan

Nice, I’ve been considering making a unique style on this blog so look out for some changes.

• 3+1 Ways to Make Your Website Load Faster by Pallab

Very useful tips, especially on javascript compression.

• 3 + 3 + 3 Places Where You Can Get Free Icons For All Seasons And Reasons by Joel

Very handy, I need to implement some icons on this blog so this is very good timing.

Honorable Mention: How I built 10,000 links in 3 weeks

Random Topics

• The last three times I lost my wallet… by Johan

This guy needs a wallet chain wicked bad.

• 3 little words by Paris

Funny (and useful) phrases women like to hear. Thanks Paris!

• Three Reasons Why Superheroes Wear Their Underwear On The Outside by Brown Baron

Simply awesome.

Honorable Mention: Ten things i didn’t know about the number 3 until now by Blaiq

Good job everyone and thanks to Daniel for hosting this project/contest!

During our first test, the following “gimme” question appeared:

There are four branches of the US government. True or False?

I chose false, yet while we were going over the test after everyone took it, a few students said they chose true. The professor marked my answer as correct, but apparently I and the professor were wrong, as there are now four branches of government. I though those few students were idiots, turns out they were prophets!